On a recent course, a manager asked me a question I hear a lot: “I don’t see some of my staff very often. How would I even know if they were struggling?”
It’s a good question, and an honest one. When people work from home, on the road or in another building, the small signs we would normally notice in a shared room simply aren’t there. That doesn’t mean you can’t support them. It means you have to look in a different way, and build in the contact that used to happen naturally.
This guide is for managers of remote, hybrid and travelling staff who want to do that well.
Why it’s harder to spot when you don’t share a room
In an office, a lot of what we know about how someone is doing comes from things we barely notice. Someone arriving later than usual, skipping lunch, looking tired, going quiet. Remotely, most of that disappears.
- A message that says “all good” can hide a lot
- People can keep their camera off, or simply not join
- It’s easier to hide struggling when nobody sees you at your desk
- Working alone can itself be isolating, especially for people who live alone
- The line between work and home blurs, and people often work longer hours without anyone noticing
None of this means remote working is bad for people. Many people are happier and more productive at home. It just means the early warning signs are quieter, so managers need to listen harder for them.
Signs to look out for remotely
The most useful thing to look for is change. You know what’s normal for each person, so notice when that shifts:
- Their camera is now always off, when it used to be on
- Messages become shorter, flatter or more irritable
- They are online very late or very early, or replies slow right down
- They miss meetings or deadlines they would usually hit
- They go quiet in group calls or stop joining the informal chat
- More short notice sick days
- A quick “I’m fine” that doesn’t quite sound fine
One sign on its own doesn’t mean someone is struggling. A pattern, or a sense that something has changed, is worth a gentle conversation.
Remote doesn’t mean out of sight. It means you have to look in a different way.
Build in contact on purpose
In an office, contact happens by accident. With remote staff, it has to happen on purpose. A few habits make a big difference:
- Regular one to ones that aren’t only about tasks. Keep a few minutes at the start for how the person is doing. “How are you, really?” lands differently when it’s asked every week, not only when something has gone wrong.
- Be consistent. If check ins are a normal part of the week, a check in never feels like a warning sign.
- Mix up how you talk. Video when it suits, a phone call when it doesn’t. Some people open up more on a walking call than staring at a screen.
- Make space for the informal. A short team call with no agenda, or a channel for non work chat, can replace some of what happens around the kettle.
- Meet in person when you can. Even occasional time together builds the trust that makes the remote conversations easier.
Make it easy for people to speak up
People who work remotely often worry about being a nuisance, or about how it will look if they say they are struggling. You can lower that bar:
- Say out loud that it’s okay not to be okay, and that you would rather know
- Tell people exactly how to reach you, and how quickly you will get back to them
- Make sure everyone knows what support exists, such as an employee assistance programme or your mental health first aiders. Our article on how EAPs, occupational health and first aiders fit together explains the differences
- Where it feels right, share a little of your own experience. It shows that talking is safe
When you’re worried: having the conversation on a call
If something doesn’t feel right, don’t wait for the next scheduled meeting and don’t tag it onto the end of a work call. Set aside a private time when neither of you is rushed.
- Start simply: “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a bit quieter lately. How are things?”
- Ask open questions, and ask twice. The first answer is often “I’m fine”
- Listen more than you talk. You don’t need to fix it on the call
- Ask what would help, and agree one next step
- Let them know what support is available
- Follow up when you said you would
Our guides to what to do when someone says “I’m fine” and what to do this week if someone on your team is struggling go into this in more detail.
Watch the workload and the boundaries
Remote staff often work longer, not shorter, hours. Without a commute or a shared finish time, the working day can stretch into the evening. Managers can help by setting clear expectations about out of hours messages, and by modelling it themselves. If you send emails at eleven at night, your team will feel they should answer them.
If you’re worried that long hours are turning into exhaustion, our article on burnout and what actually helps covers the warning signs.
Look after yourself too
Managing people you rarely see is tiring in its own way. You are often holding worries on your own, and it’s easy to forget that you need the same support you offer others. Make sure you have someone to talk to as well.
If someone needs support now
If someone is struggling, encourage them to speak to their GP. Out of hours in Scotland, they can call NHS 24 on 111.
Samaritans: call 116 123, free, any time.
If somebody is in immediate danger, call 999.
Questions managers ask about remote staff
How can I tell if a remote employee is struggling?
Look for changes rather than single moments. A camera that is now always off, shorter or flatter messages, replies at unusual hours, missed meetings or deadlines, and someone going quiet in group calls can all be signs. If you notice a change, ask, privately and kindly.
How often should I check in with remote staff?
Regularly enough that a check in feels normal rather than alarming. Many managers find a short one to one every week or two works well, with some of that time kept for how the person is doing, not just the work.
Should I insist that remote staff keep their cameras on?
It is usually better to give people a choice. Some people find cameras tiring or have good reasons to keep them off. What matters more is noticing a change, such as someone who always had their camera on and now never does.
What should I do if a remote worker tells me they are struggling?
Thank them for telling you, listen without rushing to fix it, and ask what would help. Agree a next step, let them know what support is available, such as an employee assistance programme, and follow up when you said you would. If someone is in immediate danger, call 999.
This article is part of our practical guide to workplace mental health training for UK employers.
Help your managers support people they rarely see
Our mental health training for managers gives managers the confidence to spot the signs, start the conversation and know where to point people for support, whether their team is in the office, at home or on the road.