Most people don’t suddenly burn out. They ignore lots of little warning lights first.
It’s a bit like driving with the dashboard warning light on. You know something isn’t right. You hope it’ll sort itself out, so you keep going. For a while nothing happens, until one day it does.
Burnout comes up again and again on our podcast, Tickety Boo, and in the therapy room. This article brings together what we’ve learned about spotting it early and what actually helps.
It’s not laziness. It’s exhaustion.
Most people aren’t genuinely lazy. They’re just done in with trying to do life properly. From the outside it can look like somebody is absolutely smashing life, but on the inside that’s not their experience at all.
That’s what makes burnout easy to miss, in yourself and in other people. The people most at risk are often the ones who look like they’re coping fine.
The warning lights
Burnout rarely arrives out of nowhere. These are some of the signs we see most often:
- Feeling tired all the time, even after rest
- Not being able to switch off, or feeling guilty when you try
- Telling yourself you’ll slow down “after this week” or “once things settle”
- Getting irritable or snappy with people you care about
- Making mistakes you wouldn’t normally make
- Feeling flat, numb or like you’re going through the motions
- Believing you’re fine because you’re still functioning
The danger is believing you’re fine because you’re still functioning.
On one episode I talked about pushing myself so hard that it ended in a stay in hospital. Looking back, the warning lights had been on for a long time. I just kept driving.
Why we keep pushing
A lot of burnout comes from pressure we put on ourselves. Perfectionism is one of the most socially accepted ways to wipe yourself out. Often it’s fear in disguise: what will happen if I stop? What will happen if I slow down?
Pressure gets confused for progress. People wear it like a badge of honour. But nobody gives out a medal for the most frantic day ever.
There’s another question worth asking, and it’s not always a comfortable one: who’s benefiting from you doing more? Because it isn’t always you. When you keep picking up everyone else’s slack, it quietly becomes what people expect of you.
Burnout or boreout?
Not every kind of exhaustion comes from doing too much. Sometimes it comes from too little challenge: a flat, going-through-the-motions feeling where nothing is especially hard, but nothing lights you up either. We call that boreout.
It’s often missed, because there’s no obvious overload to point at. But the answer is different. Rest helps burnout. Boreout usually needs a return to purpose, challenge and meaning.
What actually helps
This isn’t about lowering your standards. It’s about lowering the cost of them.
- Ask yourself one question. What am I expecting of myself right now, and would I expect that of someone I care about?
- Run at a steady 60. A 90% day followed by a 20% day isn’t a good average. A steady pace you can keep up beats peaks and crashes.
- Give yourself permission to stop without guilt. Not stopping everything. Just taking your foot off the gas a little and letting things breathe.
- Accept good enough for now. It can be refined later. Waiting for perfect often means it never gets done at all.
- Don’t try to fix everything. Some things can just be noticed and watched.
- Start small. Today’s win might simply be stopping for five minutes without turning it into another task.
Pacing yourself is a skill. Like any skill, it takes practice.
If you manage people
Burnout often shows up at work first as a change: the reliable person who starts making mistakes, the calm one who’s suddenly short with everyone, or the one quietly picking up everybody’s slack. Notice the change, and ask.
Recognition matters too. When we asked a room of senior corporate staff about it, every one of them said a pay rise is nice, but someone saying “great bit of work, well done” goes a long way.
If you’re not sure how to start that conversation, our guides on what to do when someone says “I’m fine” and what to do when someone on your team is struggling are a good place to begin. We also run short workshops on burnout and stress for teams.
If you are worried about a man in your team, our article on why men stay silent about their mental health may help.
If you need support
If exhaustion isn’t lifting, or you’re feeling low or hopeless, speak to your GP. Out of hours in Scotland, call NHS 24 on 111.
Samaritans: call 116 123, free, any time.
If somebody is in immediate danger, call 999.
Questions people ask about burnout
What are the first signs of burnout?
Common early signs are feeling tired even after rest, struggling to switch off or feeling guilty when you do, irritability, making mistakes you wouldn’t normally make, and telling yourself you’ll slow down once things settle. Many people keep functioning, which is why the signs are easy to ignore.
Is burnout the same as being lazy?
No. Most people with burnout are the opposite of lazy. They’re exhausted from trying to meet high standards, often their own, and from keeping going for too long without proper rest.
What is boreout?
Boreout is a flat, going-through-the-motions feeling that comes from too little challenge or meaning rather than too much pressure. It can feel similar to burnout, but it usually needs purpose and challenge rather than more rest.
How do you recover from burnout?
Recovery usually starts with slowing down and pacing yourself, giving yourself permission to rest without guilt, and looking at the expectations you’re placing on yourself. If exhaustion or low mood persists, speak to your GP.
You can hear more conversations like this on the Tickety Boo podcast.
This article is part of our practical guide to workplace mental health training for UK employers.
Help your team before burnout sets in
Talk to us about burnout and stress workshops or mental health first aid training for your workplace. You can also see all our First Aid for Mental Health training.