I recently posted on social media about overthinking and I had a great response to the post.
Over thinking is a real hot potato just now made worse by all the uncertainty in the world backed up by a constant stream of negative media.
Continual overthinking can lead to serious emotional distress and also increases our risk of mental health problems
Thinking about something in endless circles — is exhausting.
We all have the ability to over think things once in a while, it’s all too easy to go down a bit of a rabbit hole and get lost with our thoughts.
Chronic overthinking is when we spend way too much time ruminating, and this creates unnecessary stress.
Overthinking can take many forms: you can endlessly run scenarios through your head when making a decision (and then start questioning the decision),
You can attempt to read people’s minds and workout what they may be thinking about you.
Very often we can be off in the future trying to predict outcomes and working out the smallest of details.
People who continually overthink tend to run commentaries in their heads, criticising and picking apart what they said and did yesterday, worrying that they may look bad — and catastrophising about a terrible future that might await them.
Phrases like ‘What if’ ‘I think’ and ‘I should’ dominate the minds of over thinkers.
Over thinkers tend to agonise over what to post online because they think too much about what people may say or think about them.
Over thinkers or Ruminators if we are to use the correct term repetitively go over events in their minds, asking big questions like, What if this happens, Why did that happen? What does this mean?”
The problem with consistent over thinking is over time you make it a bit of a habit, and then that becomes an automatic behaviour loop, and the more you do it, the harder it is to stop.
Many people overthink because they are scared of the future, and all the things that could go potentially wrong.
And this is because when we feel vulnerable about the future, we try to solve problems in our head.
And this repetitive cycle of overthinking can trap the brain in a worry cycle. And over thinking becomes as natural as breathing.
Our brains have this very negative bias and this amazing ability to fill in the gaps when information is missing from a situation.
For example, if you were to lose your job an over thinker would immediately zing off into the future and begin to imagine that they will never find another job and that will lead to all kinds of other negative thoughts patterns.
What if I lose my house
What if I run out of money
What if nobody wants to employ me
“If I don’t do so and so … then something BAD will happen!”
And once you have gone down a rabbit hole with this you start to create excessive stress and worry and excessive worry is anxiety.
Your brain doesn’t distinguish between whether you’re actually facing a stressful situation right now or you are just imagining it happening.
And in response to these thoughts your brain produces stress hormones (like adrenaline and cortisol).
So if you begin to imagine this worse case scenario happening you will begin to feel like it is actually happening.
Think of it like this.
If I asked you to go and grab some old photographs from a happy time in life such as a fantastic holiday and asked you to spend a couple of hours looking at them and revisiting those old feelings..
Guess what you would start to feel positive feelings.
On the other hand if I asked you to look at a sad image of something you didn’t like over a short period of time your feelings would become very negative.
So what I am saying here is whatever you focus on will grow both good and bad.
So how do we defeat this pattern of thinking and win our lives back.
Well firstly you need to remember this. Thoughts are just thoughts there are not necessarily a true reflection of what is going to happen.
To get a handle on our overthinking we need to be aware of where our attention is.
What is it you spend a lot of time focusing on?
Are you spending too much time focusing on what you don’t want to happen?
Our thoughts become things.
If you look at the clothes you are wearing or the items around your house they all started out with a thought of I need a certain colour sofa and then you go off and find it.
If you find yourself slipping into negative thought patterns try and take note when are you doing it.
A bored unstimulated brain has a tendency to go off and worry as it has little else to focus on.
If you were engrossed in a movie or your favourite box set or a nice walk outdoors the tendency to overthink is reduced.
An empty mind will overthink..lying in your bed with nothing more than your thoughts will never end well.
Trying to stop the thought won’t work either. If I told you right now not to think of a pink elephant what happens, you think of that pink elephant.
If you struggle with overthinking try saying to yourself “Oh there’s that thought again…it’s just a thought”
By acknowledging the thought and confirming to yourself that it’s just a thought it will help to bring your focus back to the moment.
Thoughts come and go very quickly if we don’t engage in them.
If you clamp on to that thought and run with it then it will apply the handbrake and set up camp in your head.
Using the “it’s just a thought technique” you may find that you can pull your mind back from over thinking quite quickly.
But if you are particularly triggered by that thought, you may find your mind keeps having more unpleasant thoughts.
And this is quite normal and is to be expected as we have around 60,000 thoughts per day.
This is not a sign that pulling your mind away from the thought does not work.
This is a sign that you need to work harder to keep pulling your mind back, because you have been particularly triggered.
So why do we need to keep pulling our mind away?
Think of a ‘Hot Iron’
If you had just used the iron and just turned it off – even if it was disconnected from the power at the wall – would you touch it ?
How about 30 Seconds later … Would you touch it ?
What about 60 Seconds later
– Why not ?
because the iron is still hot!
But how long would it remain hot for?
Well, that would depend on many factors – how long it was on for, the ambient temperature of the room, whether the room was ventilated etc.
So, ‘when’ is it safe to touch depends on many factors, and it is clear that it will take some time before it has cooled down.
Your thoughts and the emotions that trigger you are exactly the same.
Pulling yourself back from one thought is not going to be enough to calm you if you have become emotionally triggered by a cascade of threatening thoughts.
It takes some time and consistency and it will require you to keep pulling your mind back to the present moment in order to calm yourself down.
Stopping yourself over thinking requires some work but if you make an effort to pull your mind back overtime you will start to see the benefits.
We all overthink and have worse case scenario thoughts. If you feel like you are constantly battling your thoughts make sure you reach out and get some help.
